An Inquiry Of One Gloomy Night

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I’ve been listening to one particular song for hours, only that one song, a song my friend shared few days ago. This is not the first time and certainly not the last time, either. At least I can recall Fix You (Coldplay), Time After Time (Eva Cassidy), and White Flag (Dido) as songs I’ve poisoned myself with.

I’m still listening to the song and something comes up. Those three songs I mentioned before, those songs have successfully brought me to such melancholic level but the source was my very own feeling. Well, at first I thought this time wouldn’t be any different but the feeling is so much lighter. That is when I know there must be something different.

Then, I recognize that it is not me. I think I could guess the reason my friend likes the song. When he shared the song, he just said that the song was good, that’s all. Now that I remember what once he told me, I can see how the song fits him. Being in the spectator seat, I’m amazed. I’m touched that he didn’t even say anything about the song resemblance to the whole thing. I am amazed and am touched and that is why my melancholic pipe leaks tonight..

There! Mystery’s been solved.
Nighty nite!
[Oh, no, lamp off, but not the music player!]

Random Things

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An afternoon on one ordinary day,
a friend was once asked to accompany me to get a spade.
Yup, a spade!

Along the way that afternoon,
we met another friend,
so off we all went,
we all march to grab a spade.
Yup, a spade!

A spade,
or shovel.
Doesn’t matter,
cause I surely know what I remember.

:P

Shut De Do

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I use ’shut de do’ as my instant messenger status every now and then. It doesn’t have anything to do with solmization. There won’t be a shut de re, shut de mi, etc. It is actually a song title and it stands for ’shut the door’.

The first time I heard the song, Shut De Do, was on one of GII Choir Concert (I forgot which one). I don’t fancy the song so much but I like the way it shortens ’shut the door’ into ’shut de do’. I still don’t know what kind of English that is, maybe it’s just the creative soul of the song author.

Shut The Door

Anyway, when I put the shut de do status, it’s almost like when people put their busy sign. Why shut the door? Because it will feel like I need my own room to do what I have to do, so I shut the door.

Oh! and I said ‘almost’ because in the end I still end up chatting. I can’t resist it. :D

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This is Your Captain Speaking

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Taking off and landing are two most exciting moment during journey by plane. Both events take place not in the highest height where the plane might be. If I’m allowed to compare (and I do realize there is no strong reason to compare), they are quite the opposite of the born and death experience of the human being.

We, people didn’t feel a thing when we were born. We had low level of awareness around that time. When the time comes, when the heart stops or the brain doesn’t work anymore, we stop feeling anything.

Back to the plane thingy, when it takes off and lands, people get exactly the feeling of a start and an end. The two events fascinate me in a way that those put me in a situation where I’m wondering whether I’m going to live another day or not.

Hm.. That’s not quite fascinating. Let me try again. Ah.. never mind, I’m sure you all get it. Anyway, those are moments that I’m looking forward to in each of my travel time using plane.

But one of a time

when you can catch a glimpse of sunrise through the window,

and your plane is not taking off or landing,

when you’re up there in the sky,

and clouds are below you,

even when that’s just for a minute or two

because it will be so bright that then you have to close the window,

my opinion might be different.

That Line

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Sunday Afternoon, in the park just near my home, I bent on my knees. Using an ice stick, I drew a line that was not even a straight one. I raised my head a little bit just so I could see your shoes. You were standing right there, in front of me, at the other side of that line. I did not feel the need to see you in the eyes. I intended to take the line to tear apart what had not been there. People might say that was not possible but they did not know anything. As I had not any desire to open my mouth, I delivered the statement inside my head. I pretended that your shoes were you and I would like to tell you something.

You can set your feet at any side of that line or anywhere on this world but as for me, on the other side of that line there will always be you, just like this Sunday afternoon. That line is just for me not to cross it.

***

“What were you drawing? Let me see. Let me see.”

“Here, here, this is a line.”

“OK… and what line is it? What is that point in the middle of it?”

“That is us. We’ve been together for years. At first, there were us, with our friends, problems, and fun. They are still there plus the whole new experience as a new family, as a parent, as new neighbor, from our parents’ house to our very own, new office, and so on, and so on. There has been a lot and there are more to come. We are in the middle of our journey.”

“You’ve made a mistake, then.”

“What??”

“The point should be at the beginning of that line. We just start.”

***

That line below the number is getting bolder and bolder. No matter how many times he makes the line, the number does not change. He looks around and takes a long breath. He scans people passing him by without any thoughts. Back to the number and that line, really nothing has changed. There are chairs and although he doesn’t get asleep these few days, he cannot put himself to rest a little bit. The number keeps him standing. It is given by the doctor, the price of his daughter’s health, an operation he cannot afford. After another 5 minutes of staring and sighing, he gets back to his daughter room. The look of his wife asks what the doctor was saying. He smiles lightly and pauses. Trying to show an ‘everything is alright’ face is harder than he thought. He does not want to lie but does not want to tell the whole truth for now either. So he says, “Everything is going to be OK”. His two beloved women smiles back at him. That’s the moment he knows that it really is going to be alright.

***

Her little hands hold the paper. She is satisfied with her works. This is her first school test result. She has done her best, before, during, and after the test. By ‘after the test’, it means that she already gives an additional line on her test score. It was 4, now it is 14. She found out few friends who get a 10 and she knew counting well enough to understand that 14 is more than 10. She runs as fast as she can to show her mother the paper. Handling it proudly, she says, “I got you the biggest number in class, Mom. I did it just for you.”, then she giggles. Seeing that line drawn with an orange crayon, her mother can’t help but laugh. She kisses her and replies, “Thank you very much, dear.”

***

I re-read what I have been writing for 3 times at least. The first one is to check whether the story echoes what I want to share. It is not about how other might get it. I would like to give them freedom to interpret. It is more to have what I want to tell in the form of my writing. The second one is to find any grammatical mistakes. I’ve always tried the best I could but English is not my native language. However, I feel like getting an award every time I do corrections. The third one is to see if I can do better with the choice of words, the plot, the order of the events, everything. If there are the fourth, fifth one and so on, that happens because I am proud of my writing. :D

As I re-read this writing, I’ve been drawing my own lines. Now, at the end of this post, a diagonal line it is.

92/22

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Those beautiful numbers are the target.

Hopefully, I get three-digits for the first one.
The last number is predicted to be a little bit difficult,
but I won’t consider white flag to raise along the journey.

Wish me luck!